Writing and Limiting Beliefs: Ann’s Personal Story

Four years as an international speaker I have had colleagues, participants in my classes and presentations, family, friends, and even publishers tell me I have a book or two I should write. I have continuously said: “I’m a speaker not a writer.”

Seth Godin called me out on that limiting belief! He said that no one says they have talkers block, they just say they have writers block. Anyone can talk out what they want to become their published book. Heck, that is how I wrote this blog post!

Recently, a great friend and publisher of Our Little Books approached me again (yes again, I backed out once before) with a great opportunity. My chance to become a published author is in my lap again! And I got scared.

Honestly I didn’t fully understand where this was coming from. What am I so afraid of? Why is it that when this huge opportunity presents itself I panic? I have a 40 page undergraduate thesis that is published! So what the heck is my problem!

This weekend I had an epiphany as to why. In graduate school I took an adult development course. This class was ran by two professors widely known in the Puget Sound Region as women you wanted to learn from. I was so excited about being in their class. One of our assignments was to create a ritual or write a fairytale that described how we became the adult we are today.

Excited, I wrote a fairytale about how I became who I am and what allowed me to heal to become who I am. One of these professors actually ripped apart the paper. She said that I didn’t know myself and I failed the assignment. The other teacher disagreed, but guess what I held onto?

The rejection.

Now I have to get over that fear of rejection so I can write my book. It’s not so easy when people say just write it. Some of you may relate to this form of rejection and if you’re not willing to deal with it, how will you ever get to a place where you create what you’re meant to create?

So I am working to overcome this fear. The fairytale I wrote in 1994 was on a typewriter. In 2010, I had it typed so it could be shared, but still held it away. Part of me realized that sharing is how I heal. Putting this on my blog will help me heal. Sharing my fairy tale will help even more, even in it’s raw unedited form. It’s not about having people tell me it’s good. It’s about being ok with putting myself out there further even again.

I have to let it go, and know it doesn’t matter what others think, as the story will touch who it is meant to touch.

You can download and read Ann’s fairytale here.
  • http://www.save-your-breath.com Rowena Starling

    Yes.  Writing a book feels HUGE.    I like what you said about just talking it out.  That IS how we write the blog posts sometimes.  My friend, Sandra Lane, says everyone has a book inside of the them and she urges me to write mine.  Maybe I will.

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    You know me a bit at- I am much like you- I roll- and don’t let peoples crap get to me. But I had to figure this out! The learning is a good thing- all kinds of goodies happening now!

  • Fiona Stolze

    Having the courage to let go and put it all out there is so powerful and beautiful. x

  • http://MagnoliaJazz.com/blog Robbie Schlosser

    Thank you for this beautiful story, and congratulations for summoning to strength to share it.  By suggesting (and demonstrating) that it takes work to overcome fear, you’re setting an outstanding example we all can benefit from.  You walk the talk.  Every adult I know has lived long enough to bear scars from plenty of GAAAH! moments that make you want to die.  Rejection, shame, embarrassment, and worse abuse our confidence and make us fearful.  It’s a life-long challenge, confronting and overcoming these limiting beliefs.

  • http://PatZahn.com/ Pat Zahn

    Wow Ann…very powerful. I’m sure that Professor had some sort of reasoning and justification in her mind (perhaps a sense of grandiosity or you hit some nerve of vulnerability in her) – but I don’t get how anyone can judge whether you know yourself or not. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t have some fear of being rejected. I, personally, know that some people will not like me for my strong opinions…I can say it doesn’t bother me, but I pretty much remember any negative interactions for a long, long time. You are steps ahead of those who can’t identify where the fear comes from. We’re all waiting for the book.

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    Brenda, always know that my strength and confidence comes from a place of vulnerability!

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    Maureena as a professional speaker (paid since 1997) and someone who started toastmaster in 7th grade, I have to disagree. Every time I get on stage I put my heart and soul on the line. People say they SWEAR I am having a conversation with them, that I see their lives. I even make people cry when I speak on Social Media!

  • http://www.ourlittlebooks.com Candace C. Davenport

    Wow- don’t know what to say (which, as you know, is very unusual). As tears roll down my face, I am speechless at the beauty of your story. And it makes so much sense how rejection of your story translated in your mind to a fear of writing. All things do come at their own time Ann. You are ready when you are ready (although sometimes being ready needs a little prod…).

    Candace Davenport
    http://www.ourlittlebooks.com ~ Little Books with a Big Message

  • http://susan-berland.com/ Susan Berland

    I have no doubt you will overcome this as you have so many other things in your life. I can’t wait to read your fairytale!

    Susan Berland
    A Picture’s Worth
    http://susan-berland.com

  • http://tambraharck.com/ Tambra Harck

    I celebrate you, my friend, your courage and commitment to your own full healing! I’m sure I’ve shared with you how vulnerable I felt as I wrote my book, and many of the most revealing stories and articles I’ve published. Each time I’ve put it out there, new waves of freedom and possibility have emerged. I wish only this and more for you.

    I would be honored to read your fairytale. If you care to share it with me; your choice.
    Big LOVE!

  • http://julieannecasefromtheheart.com Julieanne Case

    Awesome. It’s true for all of us. I was extremely fearful about putting my art out. I felt I would be killed.  Don’t ask where that came from. I believe from a prior life myself.  So glad you share this stuff.  

    Julieanne Case
    Always from the heart!

    Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art

    |http://thereconnectivehighway.com

  • http://www.abigailgorton.com/ Abigail Gorton

    That professor’s behavior was a disgrace to the school she was working at and ABSOLUTELY APPALLING! No one has the right to treat any work of art or the student who created it like that. Are you stepping far enough back to see that she was completely wrong or are you still giving her actions some credibility? Because they don’t deserve any and she needs to be deposed from any place of authority figure in your memory. Re-assign her to the file labeled ‘inappropriate, rude and dramatic’.

  • http://brendamjones.com Brenda Jones

    I always sit in amazement when you admit to limiting beliefs because I see you as one of the most confident people I know.  I have also been challenged to write a book, but keep putting it off.  Heck, I’m still over-thinking my opt-in because I’m uber-perfectionist and I worry it won’t be “good enough” (whatever that really means).  Like you, I have long thesis papers and have published work, but those limiting beliefs sneak back in.  I’m not sure where mine stem from.  Maybe if I had a clear event like your jerk of a professor, it would be easier to move past.  I look foward to reading the fairytale.

  • http://twitter.com/jenniferpeek Jennifer Peek

    This reminds me to a degree about the professor who failed Fred Smith’s business plan for Fed Ex saying it wasn’t needed and wouldn’t work.  While Fred took his plan and left, I think most of us are more likely to do what you did: hang on to the rejection. We give the “experts” more room and confidence than we give ourselves – even when they are not such experts on certain things. Kudos to you for putting it out there – and excited for your new book opportunity!

  • Donnam

    As someone who loves to write and has wanted to become a published author all her life, I can understand your hesitancy to actually DO IT. Fear of rejection is huge for me, and I have had generous helpings of that in the past, so I know how it can be a discouragement. I am unable to read your fairy tale as it is asking me to sign in via WordPress, but I look forward to reading it when possible, and admire your courage in sharing. I also applaud your efforts to write that book or books and know they will be of great value to many who read them. Sending earnest and sincere encouragement to you and also gratitude for how you are helping me and others explore our lives and dreams. 

  • http://twitter.com/MosaicTutoring Cory Zacker

    Who is a professor to say that you don’t know yourself? Sounds pretty unprofessional to me! Good for you for realizing that this was potentially stopping you from achieving one of your goals. That’s an important step to overcoming the fear.

  • http://www.vickidellojoio.com Vicki Dello Joio

    I so relate to this, Ann. As I was completing my book and getting it ready to send to the publisher, I hit a level of terror that astonished and momentarily paralyzed me. I mean I was literally vomiting with fear (tmi??) It all boiled down to fear about how I would be perceived, exposed. To expose your journey in the way you did in that class and face that kind of utter rejection is incredibly traumatic. But I have total confidence that when you hold that book in your hand (and  can’t WAIT to read it and Love it) that trauma will be healed. I love that you already know it and are using that story to speak your message. 

  • http://www.maureenabivinsphd.com/ Maureena Bivins, PhD

    Writing is much more personal than speaking, in my opinion, especially if we are writing about our own story.  Finding our voice is so powerful.  Happy writing!  Ps I could not download your fairytale.  I will keep trying.

    Maureena Bivins, PhD
    Acupuncture & Somatic Therapy
    http://maureenabivinsphd.com

    Curious. Committed.  Compassionate.
    What do you look for in a health care provider?

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/workplaceessentials Beth Weisberg

    Oh, Ann, can’t tell you how it inspires the rest of us (me, at least!) to hear you acknowledge being scared — you, the mighty warrior! Thanks for putting this up — and yourself out there. And go write that book! You’ve got so much to say, to share, to inspire others with — don’t hold it back. We need you to do it!