The Influence Factor starts with YOU: Learning to Like Yourself

For years I have used this simple, yet powerful activity with myself and those I coach. I think stepping into your true power and having greater success requires that you LIKE yourself. It’s easy when asked, “do you like yourself?” to quickly answer “yes”. Doing this activity will bring the TRUTH of that to life. I recently made participants at Empowered Brilliant Sexy do this. (Now granted they were not ALONE, so that makes a difference; you need to be by yourself when you do it)

Here is what I shared with them:

Go to a mirror;  look yourself in the eye and say: “I like you.” What happens? You will learn so much. Say it everyday – you saw why in the video!

 

Ann Evanston, MA, has been named by About.com as one of the Top Six Marketing Consultants, Feb 2011. She is an international speaker, consultant and coach specializing in the Influence Factor. She is available for your conferences and events.
  • http://www.ActNowSeminars.com Maria Marsala

    Great exercise Ann.  I haven’t tried it with “like” however, years ago I was sent this “I Like You” page and go to it often.  Sometimes, you just have to hear it from someone else — even the Internet ;)
     
    Thanks again, I’m going to add this exercise the the morning ritual I’m putting together.
     
    My favorite: http://www.webworksllc.com/I_Like_You.cfm
    Another: http://www.care2.com/send/card/5937
     
    Maria Marsala
    Accounting & Financial Advisor Coach

  • http://www.thereconnectivehighway.com Julieanne Case

    I’ve done this exercise with “I love you” but not with like.  I won’t even say what happened to me when I first did it!  Now it’s easy for me to do it.  I shall do it with “I like you” too and see what happens.  

    Julieanne Case
    Owner Practitioner of The Reconnective Highway
    Reconnecting you to your essence, joy, vitality, youth.| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | AgeLoc 
    http://www.thereconnectivehighway.com

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  • Andreah

    Thank you Ann,
    I will do this! Sounds yummy and fun!

    Andrea

  • http://alaracastell.com Alara Castell

    Hi Ann,

    There definitely was a time I didn’t like myself and when I didn’t feel I was enough. Very much of it was my upbringing. I actually just wrote about this. Today I am proud to say that I more than like myself I love myself. I also like myself ;) I always give thanks to myself everyday and I tell myself that I Love You. It really is very powerful. Thanks for sharing this.

    If your curious about the post I wrote you can check it out here
    http://www.alaracastell.com/until-you-love-you/

    Alara K. Castell
    Your Sassy Spiritual Guide

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    Read some of the responses on here, it reinforces it, Brandy’s Jillians…

  • http://www.brandymychals.com Brandy Mychals

    Hi Ann,
    There was a time when I didn’t like myself and I had to do a lot of work around that. Today, yes, I very much like myself :-) It reminds me that besides telling my daughter how much I love her, I always tell her that I also like her. She looks at me and says, “what do you mean, that you like me, you love me”…and I say, yes, I always love you, but I also really LIKE who you are :-)
    Brandy Mychals
    Speaker, Author, Communications Coach
    Creator of the Character Code System

  • http://www.jilliantoddblog.com Jillian Todd

    Oh, boy, you know this is one topic that is VERY close to my heart. There are days this is easy for me to do. Others I really struggle, but those are getting to be a smaller and smaller minority. The more I am finding and using my voice, the stronger I can say “I like myself”. The more I am committed to my business/cause, the more I am able to look at myself and be proud of WHO I am, not just WHAT I do.
    Jillian
    http://www.jilliantodd.com
    @jilliantodd

  • http://MagnoliaJazz.com/blog Robbie Schlosser

    Thanks for this dose of good medicine. LOTS of people recommend daily “affirmations”, and I’ve been repeating a few for the past dozen years or more. Like you say, they clarify and energize. One of the earliest I heard is “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better!”. “I like you” is the newest, and I’ll add it to my routine. I just walked over to a mirror, looked myself in the eye, and several times repeated “I like you”. Slowly, with feeling. Smiled, but no remarkable response today, and we’ll see what develops over the next few weeks.

  • Fiona Stolze

    I think we need to agree to disagree on this one. :-)

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE YOU, ANN! :) And I really do love myself, too. Shamelessly in fact.

  • Irene Turner

    I remember an assignment like this in a spiritual seminar I took years ago. The teacher kept telling us…”God dwells with in you as you”. I thought I had it, I repeated it, told everyone about it, thought it was in my bones. One day on a walk a friend said to me that she put together her meditation alter and put a pic of herself on it with a note that said, “God dwells with in me as me”. My mouth dropped, and I stopped cold. That quarter turn shift of this affirmation was mind blowing. It’s amazing when I realized that yes…in this particular case…it is about me!
    Thanks for the powerful reminder! Have a great week end

  • Donna McCord

    Just went in the bathroom here at work and tried this…found myself noticing the dark circles under my eyes and the wrinkles, and then tried again…this time I felt a rather uneasy response as though I was saying something I should not be saying! Reminded me of some of my past counseling sessions! I think I like myself enough to enjoy spending time alone, but realize I am way too critical of myself as well…when I receive compliments from people I am able to say Thank You gracefully but never feel all that deserving either! Have some work to do, it seems!

  • http://www.thereflectivewriter.com/blog/ Judy Stone-Goldman

    Very challenging – not to do, but to believe! I got such a skeptical look on my face when I did this! It’s so interesting to make this an “in-your-face” exercise (literally) because I’ve done this with writing. Very different to say words out loud, to myself. I can see that doing this as a regular activity is a new challenge that would be beneficial. And I can continue to write about my reactions!

    Judy Stone-Goldman
    The Reflective Writer

  • http://ritabrennanfreay.com Rita Brennan Freay

    I remember the first time you had me do it…I laughed….and laughed! Out loud laughing! Not so sure at what, but it was funny….I think. Uncomfortable and weird feeling for sure. Its strange to say that I was uncomfortable and weirded out by looking my self in the eye…in the mirror….but I was! Couldn’t have a real conversation with myself?! Wow. I’ve been looking in the mirror everyday so its not that I’m not used to seeing me…..its like you said going in deeper, looking into your soul, who does that? I do it more and more nowdays…the looking into my eyes, since you brought it to my attention…making eye contact with myself (and sometimes talking to myself)!!! This time around when I looked into my eyes, I didn’t laugh….I was much more comfortable and at east….but I can feel a slight awkwardness there…need to practice more and do this everyday…I am going to have my daughter do this too:) Thanks Ann!

    Rita Brennan Freay
    @Rita4kids
    ritabrennanfreay.com

  • http://www.susan-berland.com/ Susan Berland

    I don’t remember what happened when I did it the first time you suggested it but it wasn’t the same as today. No big smiles, just a small one and a slow shiver ran down my body. I believe the real power, as you say, is to do it every day. And that is the challenge.

    Susan Berland
    A Picture’s Worth
    http://www.susan-berland.com

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    well, that’s what I challenge in this post- it’s easy to “say it” or write it, but to really look into the window of your soul- your eyes and say it to YOU very different. Glad you will try Pat.

  • http://www.warrior-preneur.com Ann Evanston

    I love you is so different from I like you though Fiona. You can love yourself and not like yourself very much, as well as others.

  • http://www.PatZahn.com Pat Zahn

    I DO like me…I don’t always like looking at me though. It’s not hard for me to know that I like who I am, but I’m not in the habit of looking that often in a mirror. I look to make sure everything is ok in the morning. If I feel something on my face, I take a peek, but the other day I discovered my sweater was on inside out, how does that happen?! So I went to the mirror looked myself in my green eyes and said, “I like you.” It made me smile…but I was a little uncomfortable. Why is that? I don’t think I’m a beauty queen, but I don’t think I’m ugly. Was I taught not to be too vain? I’ll try this every day and see how it makes a difference.

  • Fiona Stolze

    Yes, this is so important. It’s a great exercise. In fact I say ‘I love you’ to me and I give myself a hug in the mirror. :-) It’s especially wonderful if something upsetting has occurred and I show myself that I am there for me.

    Definitely a must do for women.

    Fiona Stolze
    http://fionastolze.com

  • http://www.mywealthspa.com Darcie Newton

    This was a powerful exercise. It’s funny because my husband does something like this and always has and I’ve always thought it was funny. Of course what he says is a bit more elaborate and maybe a bit more boastful…but the feeling is the same…self acceptance and awareness.

    At the EBS event Randi asked what we were going to do differently on Monday morning…this was one thing for me.

    Stop and say “I Like You”…and then go smell the roses.

    Darcie Newton
    Discipline for profit, none for jammy zins and memorable necklaces
    http://www.mywealthspa.com

  • http://www.lauriehurleyonline.com Laurie Hurley

    Well, this was difficult for me as you stated at the conference. It is getting easier. Working beyond demons from the past is never easy which is why sometimes people say they “see terrible hurt in my eyes”.. At some point I will be ready to share that part of me that was ugly and hurtful. Getting there. Believe it or not, I still look in the mirror in the morning (after I meditate!) and say this to myself as well as a couple of other mantras. Important message for all women!

  • http://louiseedington.com Louise Edington

    Awesome! Love it. I now have no problem saying this to myself – a year ago I would not have been able to do it. I do it often – I’ll try and remember to do it every day. It REALLY does work. I also now give myself pats on the back at the end of the day for what I have achieved in that day. Part of the 5 gifts challenge I’m doing on my Lou Loves Learning Facebook Page. Love ALL this.
    Louise Edington
    Find Freedom From Fears Over Fifty
    http://louisedington.com