by Ann Evanston | Jan 16, 2018 | Mindsets
As I have been exploring joy through these blogs with you, they also post to my social media. Which means friends, family even clients see them. One friend I adore left a thought provoking comment:
“The whales came to me in a dream in 2004 for my birthday with the express message to “remind me” I am innately joy, as are we all.
It didn’t feel like a reminder at the time as I wasn’t aware of Joy. Not really.
It was the discovery I embarked on as the whales’ message awoke in the experience and emanation of Joy.”
This struck me. So I saved in in my journal. Pondering it, wondering about it. Made it a part of this exploration. One night while lying awake (some of you know that feeling, lol) it popped into my mind, and I turned one part of what she said into a mantra:
I am innately joy. I AM innately joy. I am INNATELY joy. I am innately JOY.
Over and over.
Fast forward and and I wake to turning 50. Doing our morning routine; the gym, blasting, cleaning the kitchen. While doing dishes I realized something:
I am in joy.
Wait, what?
Yes, I feel it. I feel it! Why the hell now, who knows! Now I am learning about that feeling tapping in regularly.
by Ann Evanston | Jan 9, 2018 | Mindsets
I have been on the exploration of joy. Trying to truly understand what it means to live with joy, versus joyous moments. As I mentioned previously, being joy, 100% of the time seems so odd to me, although my psychology background believes it to be possible. There are times, like doing basic business tasks, where joy just isn’t in me. I am in “get stuff done” mode.
Then I thought about my grandma. As I think about her, and how she lived her life, she knew peace, contentment and joy. Every moment she accepted with joy. Quiet moments, busy moments, even times when she couldn’t hear the conversation as she lost her hearing….all in joy.
Even the shitty stuff.
Like losing her husband with 3 children under 8. OK, yeah, I wasn’t there for that, but I know how family spoke of her.
Or later in life when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, and made her choice to not treat it. She wasn’t in a state of worry. Or sadness.
Peace. Contentment and joy.
I guess that’s a key: accepting the moment as it is. Right now. Do you live with joy inside you?
by Ann Evanston | Dec 26, 2017 | Mindsets
When I recently was encouraged to work with more joy, I truly listened and began to explore what that means. See, I am not sure I experience joy, based on what I know it to be. I experience peace and contentment….but joy?
With a psychology background, I have understood that happiness and joy cultivate in very different ways. Psychologies UK states: “Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events.”
Psychology Today shares further: “Joy comes when you make peace with who you are, where you are, why you are, and who you are not with. When you need nothing more than your truth and the love of a good God to bring peace, then you have settled into the abiding joy that is not rocked by relationships. It’s not rocked by anything…It’s a spiritual quality that is internal.”
Since I believe this to be what joy is, I challenged myself to think about a time I have experienced joy in its truest form, regardless of an external experience. That’s hard! I think I experience overwhelming happiness, euphoria, in relationships or situations that I am in. I have probably had moments of pure joy.
If I am honest, I am too in my head…doing. Joy requires being (which is how this whole thing started, I asked a Champion Circle I lead about being! Dammit! LOL)
Then I started to think about people I know who live in joy. There are things that bring them happiness, but nothing brings them joy. That’s just it, they live in joy (I will share an example soon). So I live in peace. I live in contentment. Now I am learning to live in joy.
Did I live in joy as I wrote this? What do you think?
I promise to share more.
by Ann Evanston | Dec 19, 2017 | Mindsets
While going through security to catch a flight to Seattle, we were past the TSA check of identification and proceeding to the equipment “detectors.” We were single file at first, but it opens into two lanes to take of your shoes for the conveyor belt.
I noticed that we had really slowed down, and looked up. No one was parting and going to the second lane. And (of course) I was thinking about speaking up. Just as I opened my mouth, a TSA jumped in and got people moving. I laughed and said: “whew, I was just getting ready to say something and you know if I did someone would have given me a dirty look or thought I was a bitch.”
Both women in front and behind me laughed, and struck up the conversation about how if a man does it he’s a “great leader,” or so “assertive.”
Which is why many women never speak up. Their mindset about bitch, and being called one is so negative. Even hurtful.
We need to change that mindset. Own what we say. Smile non-aggressively at the person who questions our comment. A change that would to be positive.
Thank you, yes I am a women who knows her mind.
by Ann Evanston | Dec 12, 2017 | Mindsets
In my program for entrepreneurs and speakers, where I teach the five steps to selling from the stage with ease, I speak to the importance of the mindset of expert in the second step.
Too often we as women can give everybody else credit for being an expert. We have a hard time drawing from with in and knowing that we really have had a unique experience that allows us to “own” expertise.
[Tweet “Influential people own their expert!”]
The expert mindset doesn’t mean you’re done learning. The expert mindset is just about being able to tap from within and know that you are truly ready to teach others through your experience.
With an expert mindset you can look at your abilities and experiences and realize that there is a way to organize that knowledge for others. Yes, in the beginning that can feel difficult. Trust me though if you evaluate what you’ve been doing over time, you will see and own what you do.
by Ann Evanston | Nov 28, 2017 | Mindsets
Assertiveness begins with having certain mindsets. As women, we must be willing to overcome perceptions and stereotypes that come with speaking up. The more we believe that those perceptions are true the less likely we are to have healthy boundaries, and ask for what we want, or need.
We must first believe that speaking up is a good thing. We must also know that asking for what we want or need, or speaking what we believe or feel is our right. We must believe that what we value is worth standing up for. We must know in our minds, that whether somebody agrees or not is perfectly OK. We also believe that it’s OK if someone doesn’t like what we say.
With these mindsets it is easier to express yourself in an assertive manner.
