My first job out of college was working with abused and neglected teenage girls: sexually, physically and emotionally abused and neglected, drug and/or alcohol addicted, pregnant and/or parenting. Their world was defined by limiting beliefs. When I started developing self -esteem groups for them, I realized the power of what we tell ourselves. It’s everywhere! Now over 20 years has gone by and I still teach limiting beliefs. They are critical to building the Influence Factor in your life. Sometimes I think my clients think I am crazy when they sign up for the Social Networking Coaching Club and have to do a limiting beliefs activity with me! I do it with all my clients, it is even in my book, The Influence Factor
Even last weeks post was about our own limiting beliefs. My own limiting beliefs, and what I did to face some of them!
One of my corporate clients has recently asked me to take the first half of the Social Networking Coaching Club and turn it into online training on building a business brand. I am honored to do so, as they see that I teach so much more than “how to tweet”! I did this video to work with their 1099 contractors for the limiting beliefs section around building their business, and thought I’d share with you:
That last piece is so critical: Things that create negative emotion, that anger us about others, that fight or flight we often feel is often because of a limiting belief. Next time you feel that way about something ask yourself what the belief is that you tell yourself. You may be surprised.
For many of us, like the teenagers I counseled we did not first create those beliefs – others around us did, even if not intentionally. Eventually you have to own them though. For example, I remember growing up with a single mom who constantly talked about how BROKE we were. For many years I worked, and was broke. I worked harder and was broke. I worked more and was still broke. Until I realized that my moms voice had become mine. I worked to change it.
One technique I have taught when speaking is to tell the voice to STOP! But then, and this is very important, replace the voice with something new and powerful, or the old pattern creeps back in. I also wrote another blog about the power of I AM and how to rewrite those tapes
What limiting beliefs do you have that you want to change? What techniques do you use?
Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
All the best creating your online training Ann! We all have internal set points for our capabibilities. Many of my clients want to push their limits and increase their potential. One of our first steps is to have them examine the beliefs they hold regarding their perceived limitations. In order to effectively and permanently change them, I have to get the client to challenge them and work actively to expand their concept of what is possible for them. Of course, there are numerous tools and processes that we can use to alleviate these energetic blocks once we bring them to full conscious awareness.
Rachel Lavern
http://www.rachellavern.com
Personal Transformation, Enlightenment and Development
First of all I have to say that my 5 year old daughter was standing next to me while I was watching the video and she said “Boy, her house is really pretty.” Then she called her twin brother over and said “Look, isn’t her house so beautiful?” 🙂
I took a workshop years ago by a woman who wrote a book about this sort of thing, it was very powerful, and worked for me for a short time, however, I didn’t stick with it, didn’t truly work thru my “shit” and it will never work that way.
I think I have the fat voice, the not good enough voice, overall most of the low self-esteem crap.
Thanks Ann.
Lisa Vitale
http://lisawifemom.wordpress.com/
Lisa, this brought such a smile to my face! We just moved back into our home this past spring. It was Earl’s moms (he grew up here) and when she died at 54 it was given to him. A few years back it burnt down, and when Earl told me, he said: “Don’t worry no one was hurt, but now I can build you your dream house!” I am getting ready to paint in here, very excited about this space!
So great Ann, guess my little girl has a sense for a great space. Best to you in this new space, may it bring much happiness. 🙂
This so touches me and makes me want to share this especially with my husband, also my daughter, and anyone else I care about. I am thinking about one of my sisters who is so stuck in her mid 50’s with no hope for anything changing — no job, no prospects, no joy except for her dreams of living and working in Italy some day — and of course my own limiting beliefs that have plagued me for years — sometimes I conquer them, then they come back and challenge me again. Thank you so much for sharing what you have learned — I think that is often why we go through such pain and failure and darkness — to learn, to grow stronger and then be able to be support and comfort and encourage others as they go through their own tough times. For 2011 I am bound and determined to keep my mind and heart and spirit focused on the power of God’s love for me and His will for my best, and believe this will be a year of breakthroughs!
This is a great post Ann, thanks. This whole limiting beliefs thing is key for me. Since starting the course, I tell my subconscious that I am ‘onto’ it. That I am aware of my stories and that I am doing a great job of turning them all around. I believe that even the very act of bringing my awareness to things begins to effect change in those areas. Like Donna I am intending a year of breakthroughs. Thanks for showing up in my life.
I so believe in the power of I AM.
Peace. Happy New Year.
I love this post Ann. Thanks for the reminder (I have a lot of gremlins in my head). So I am posting a daily reminder in front of my computer that I will be looking at every day on what I plan to accomplish.
Take that you gremlins!
Thanks Ann.
This was very appropriate right now because over this LONG winter break…I am suffering from the limiting belief that I cannot do it “all”. I have been a little overwhelmed right now. As of the beginning of January 2011, I need to remind myself that I AM a fabulous multi-tasker who is competent and can do it all! RB
My limiting belief in my ability to lose weight and transform my body kept me fat for a long time. On January 11, 2011, I will celebrate my 1 year journey and 102 lb transformation. On January 11, 2010, I was jobless, 102 lbs heavier and extremely unhappy. When I could not bend over to tie my own tennis shoes to go for a walk, I knew something in my life had to change and this is where my journey began.
Congratulations Sharon! This is very inspiring as I start my journey towards a slimmer and fitter body. Thank you so much for sharing!
This was a great exercise in SNCC. I didn’t think I had any limiting beliefs professionally, but personally – quite a different story and as I have learned – you cannot really separate personal from professional, so this is my goal for 2011 – to face my limiting beliefs about my ability to parent a child whose only beliefs about herself are negative. And, she is only 12 years old, with the emotional and cognitive level of a 5 year old – that is going to be quite a challenge. Happy New Year!
I have, since doing SNCC discovered that I have way more limiting beliefs than I thought! I have the ‘not quite good enough’, the ‘I’m going to end up fat like my mum and Gran because I have their genes’, the ‘I’m going to fall if I go fast when skiing’ (oh and guess what – today I did because my fears have returned!). At least now, thanks to you, I become fairly quickly aware of those voices and of the words I use. Sometimes takes a bit longer – like tubby Tuesday – doh! I am constantly working on those limiting beliefs now and my life is improving so much! I don’t remember the last time I said ‘I can’t afford’ and do you know what? We always seem to have enough money! I use the self talk, read books that inspire me to look at myself differently, tell myself I am good enough, I don’t have to end up the same as my mum, I won’t fall if I ski with good technique etc etc. I feel this will be a lifelong learning process but at least I am no longer cowered by my limiting beliefs. Thanks Ann
Louise Edington
Facing Fears and Frontiers For Freedom
http://louiseedington.com
In another program I worked with a process that helped us examine feelings and underlying beliefs, then change that belief. Very, very powerful. I’m excited to hear this idea presented now, in my on-line world, to help bring together all the parts of me! I have been challenging many limiting beliefs in my personal life, and I know I have many to explore about my business and creative life as well. Think I’ll put this into the pot as I reflect on New Year’s plans.
I’ve also found that limiting beliefs will reinforce themselves and become stronger if left unchecked. If your limiting belief is that you are broke and then you are despite efforts to earn more, your mind will reinforce it’s belief by saying ‘see, I told you, you were broke’ which in turn makes that limiting belief even stronger.
I use mantras to work on my limiting beliefs. For years my mantra was ‘my life is abundant with time, money, family and friends.’ I would go to sleep at night repeating that phrase in my head and anytime a fear or negative thought would find it’s way into my day, I would say that phrase until I forgot the negative thought altogether.
Darcie Newton
Introducing Alternative Assets to Smart Investors
http://www.mywealthspa.com
Great topic that we have to re-visit from time-to-time because it’s easy to slip back in to bad self-talk. I was working with a hypnotherapist last year and discovered some beliefs I had around money and how much was ok for me to earn (grew up poor). Once you are aware and start changing your internal and external dialog great things start to happen.
Pat Zahn, Photo Solutions Superhero
http://www.patzahn.com
Ann, always you challenge us to think more & try harder. When we dig deeper its amazing what we uncover, isnt it? Taking your bootcamp, & doing a couple of facing myself in the mirror classes and exercises really did force me to examine how I think and process my life. Who I surround myself with. In this past year I have allowed abundance and success to come to me, finally. My life really is my choice. I can be cowered by a little voice in my head or I can stomp all over the silly cow, and fly over the moon, if I want. I have also come to realize that asking for help is not a weakness but a strength. Coming up with a crazy idea is actually very cool, because there are people out there willing to help me, make it happen. I just have to put the willingness to work, take one step at a time. I dont need to climb the mountain in one day. I do deserve good things, parking spaces, kindness, encouragement, and I can give all those things to those around me(except parking spaces). Discovering that if I wanted abundance I need to come from generosity. I need to act as if my success is real. I need to embrace those I believe in. Belief expands our Universe. Belief Kisses or it Kills. I want the kisses!
Jennifer Duchene
Home Makeover Mixtress
http://home-decorating-makeovers.com/
I know that I have limiting beliefs but how do you change that? How do you come up a way to turn those thoughts around?
hey Jean I give one tip on at the end of the post, and another in the I AM post. Awareness first is the key. On the Social Networking Coaching Club (are we doing a trade on there, am I slacking?) I teach about rewriting them.
I know that I have limiting beliefs but how do you change that? How do you come up a way to turn those thoughts around?
What an interesting post. You have given me much to think oabout here, Ann. Thank you!
Cxx
That struggle and effort are necessary to create what I want. I happen to know from personal experience that that is not true. I use meditation and guided meditational tapes for reprogramming.
Ann this is right on and is not a new topic! I have always struggled with those thoughts of “I’m not good enough, not tall enough (sad but true), I’m not pretty enough, not talented enough, not focused enough, I’m broke, I’m poor, I’m a victim (this one was my favorite for too MANY years which fed the others), the list really does go on and on! However, over the past few years I have been on a journey to see what God says about me and I discovered it is none of that stuff so I started to speak what God sees about me to myself and now I look in the mirror and see an amazing powerhouse of a woman, with a great deal to offer anyone willing to listen! I’m strong, beautiful, a great mother, awesome wife, extremely gifted and talented and am victorious! And for the first time in my life I feel as if I am about to start my life…that is an amazing feeling to step into something, not because you are good at it or Mom did it, but because it is something you are good at and WANT to do and get great pleasure out of it!
Thanks for posting and reposting…this is powerful stuff that people really need to get a hold of so they can be who they are supposed to be in this life!