While watching the trick or treaters I was fascinated by a very simple concept behind the day. I realized that Halloween is about two interesting things that when embraced in life, can lead toward success and happiness.
First, Halloween is about dressing up and being whoever you want to be. Think about it! One day every year we allow our children to dress up and be whoever they want to be: scary, feisty, happy, pretty princesses, fairies, villains, superheroes, even freaks! (ok, on occasion, you get my point!) They get to decide who they want to be. They get to BE whatever they want, and we happily accept who they choose. It is perfectly ok.
Second, Halloween is about asking for what you want. And guess what you actually get it! You ask for a trick or treat and guess what every single time you ask, you get a trick or a treat.
Imagine if we grew up believing that about life. That we can first we get to be who we want to be and it will be accepted by others that that’s who we are. It will be appreciated in the differences and the diversity. And second that we can ask for what we deserve.
Imagine if in your life you were truly who you want to be. You did not question how or think that you had to dress up and be someone. Imagine if you had no fear about who you are. And imagine if you could ask for what you wanted and get direct honest up front answers. You might not like the “trick or treat” answers (just like you did not always like the candy)! But wouldn’t the world be a better place?
I recently heard several of my over 40 girlfriends say they have embraced these two things, finally in their lives. But I think they are a minority. Have you embraced it? I truly believe this is a critical component of becoming influential, and being your biggest, bestest bad-assery self!! Has it led to greater happiness and success?
Ann M. Evanston is a “Chief Breakthrough Officer” teaching other Business Warriors how to slow down, and find the most unique part of their business that makes them stand out among the crowd. She has been named one of the top marketing consultants by About.com, is a guest blogger for Showcasing Women and takes pride in moving you from “blah, blah, blah” to “BOOM, BOOM. BOOM!”
YES!! Thanks Ann for putting this out there for us in the way that only you can communicate it. It wasn’t until I joined SNCC and that I finally realized that I didn’t have to BE a corporate person to be successful. I’m great at being ME and am enjoying a happy and successful life more than ever before!
In a very quiet way I have always been true to myself and my values in both my personal and professional lives which are really indivisible. Social network marketing has brought me more into the public eye and I feel my “voice” becoming stronger. I thrive in a direct, open, communicative environment where I can ask for what I need and know I will be heard, whether I receive the requested thing or not.
http://maureenabivinsphd.com
“Curious, committed, and compassionate. What do you look for in a health care professional?”
Ann, great blog. After getting my MBA and spending ten years in the high-tech field, I finally decided several years ago to be my authentic self. For so many years, I was “successful” by society’s definition, but it felt pretty hollow for me. I went back to school to get my Masters in Holistic Health and am now not only being who “I want to be”, but more importantly being “who I am”. I’m living true to myself. It takes so much work not to, yet so many of us do it for most of our lives. If we can let go of the expectations of society, friends, and family, we can more freely be us.
To your second point, why do we find it so hard to ask for what we want? I just recently got an email from an acquaintance (not even a close friend) who is having a baby in a couple of weeks. She sent an email to everyone on her list giving options for how they could help her after the baby is born (by providing food if they are local or by ordering food with a suggested link if not). When I first read this, I thought it was a bit presumptuous. After reading your blog, I can see it in a new light of her simply asking for what she wanted. She assumed that most people would want to help and she was letting them know how. I’m not sure I’m quite there yet as far as asking for what I want, but I bet our relationships could be a lot stronger if we did. So many hurt feelings come because our friends and family do not meet our expectations, yet they would have gladly done so if only they had known.
I love thinking about how to dress up to be new undiscovered aspects of myself and giving permission to be in wholeness. I too think this is a call that we might hear from Halloween and I love how you describe it. As for asking what I want, I think for me sometimes the hardest part is really taking the time to listen for what I DO really want. So often I get a little lost along the way and yet, of course, I must know, right?? I am working to develop a habit of asking myself this question with more intention and in that way be able to receive the support that you describe in your linked video (who you truly want to be)
I’m still working on this, being who I am and asking for what I want. Pretty good at asking for what I want but being who I am is tricky because I change a lot. It could get confusing for others. I have embraced all of this about myself and am happier for it.
It’s time we all embraced these two things. We need to be who we are but first you must learn who you really are. Then be that, decide what you want and ask for it! I’m very close and I’m being me as is. My husband asked me what the Reconnection was the other night. I began to formulate an answer that he and his left brain might find palatable but I stopped and answered him with what I would say to someone who gets me and energy work. The answer was accepted. That was a huge lesson for me. And I stood in my truth.
Julieanne Case
Always from the heart!
Reconnecting you to your essence, joy, vitality, youth.| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | AgeLoc Skin Care | Pharmanex Supplements
http://thereconnectivehighway.com
Oh, how I wish I embraced myself more! But I will say that after I had my first child, 3 years ago, something clicked. I didn’t care, as much, about what anyone else thought. What mattered more to me was how my child would see me. It took me having a baby to see me! Thanks, my sweethearts, Jackson and Asher! (a.k.a. Batman and Robin)
I think I’ve gotten pretty good at representing who I am and being comfortable with that. It’s very tough for me to ask for help.. it’s hard to need help. I’m so used to being strong, independant, etc. that it really makes me feel weak and frustrated to ask for help. This is a timely question for me since I just went through major surgery!
I really agree with you Ann. For many years I was terrified to ask for what I wanted or even asking for help for that matter. Hence, my thyroid problems, not having a voice. Well, I’ve been on a new road of healing and for 4 years now, I have been asking for what I want, most times getting it, but sometimes not, but it’s okay because the important thing was speaking up because it was something I believed in.
I wish it had happened earlier, but yes, 29years and 40 quarters to now has been a time of huge transformation for me! I do finally accept myself and ask for what I deserve. Many people around me have had a hard time adjusting, but I finally understand that **I** had to painfully contort myself to adjust to THEM. No more. It took too much out of me.
I have learned to ask for what I am worth/deserve/want in my business. I was completely underpriced for far too long. Now I know that what I do is worth what I am finally asking for and if that turns people off, they aren’t my client.
Jillian
Jillian Todd Portrait Couture
http://www.jilliantodd.com
http://www.jilliantoddblog.com
I would love if everyone just said no, when they mean no… I’ve actually thanked people for feeling they could be honest with me when turning me down. You see, I believe that how I handle a no, might mean a referral later. If I am who I am, (and I think I am) I have achieved success and happiness (some days are better than others.)
It takes some of us longer than others to really embrace who we are and what we want. At 63, I’m still getting there, but I’m mostly there and life is so much better and I am so much better and I am so much happier!
Susan Berland
A Picture’s Worth
http://susan-berland.com
How do I teach my daughter to keep the wonders of childhood such as these? I’m hoping that by learning to do it again that I can help her from ever losing the ability. I’m a work in progress, but I’m so much closer to standing in my truth without fear (it’s been a common theme in the past few weeks) and building the confidence to ask for what I want without fearing the possible judgements that I like to assume others will make. I love the simplicity of how you address those themes for me and tie up what was a month of coming to accept them and grow into it. Thank you.
Oh yes, it’s time. I have embraced this but it took until I was in my 50’s to be who I truly am and ask for what I want. I grow in that confidence all the time. I am confident in my message, I am who I am and I know who who I like to work with. I am now confident enough not to try and please everyone. It’s so liberating. And I am trying to instil this into my daughters so they don’t have to wait until they are my age to feel this way!
Louise Edington
Breaking Through Online Frontiers
http://louiseedington.com
This is so true! and hitting me at a perfect time. I don;t feel constrained by outside impressions on who I am in life … but I do allow it to happen in business. I don;t ask for what I really want in my business. But this is one of the areas that I’m strongly working on right now … asking for the sale … and being consistent with what I’m asking of them.
Yvonne Hall
http://www.yvonneelmhall.wordpress.com
Unfolding and watching it every day of who I am meant to be. There is nothing like it when the Truth is discovered.
Ann,
Yes it would be an amazing world if we allowed ourselves to be authentic about who we are. It would more incredible if we could other people to be themselves without judgement or expectation. May we courageously explore the edges of what is possible and allow ourselves to experience the many different possibilities that exist within.
Blessings,
chris arcucci
Who says a woman can’t cultivate her super powers in a dress?!
http://www.MindfulLivingArts.com